Deflated

OHHHH my gosh.

Eu debates is finally over!!!

Over over OVER!!!

If you want to know how it was like, it was being shelled by heavy artillery (one girl) and gingerly having to avoid landmines (one guy). And all the time having to avoid snipers (the other two guys.)

I feel like I've been shot to pieces and riddled with bullet holes all over. Despite the fact that we started out with 4 solid tanks I think at the end of the battle only 2 were left standing.

Arghhhhh. >.<

Had gone all wrong, been trampled on and lost and thrown away...

Shana's not allowing me to sing :( I at least want the roses and the note that talks about 'Our Song'.

Funny how a simple incident in church can make me mooch for a whole day and then some.

Funny how 'no' seems so inevitable and yet so unbelieveable.

Even as I walk down this path, I keep looking back over my shoulder in disbelief, regret, even hope? I don't know. I'm still not convinced, but mostly forced to walk down by necessity. What else can I do?

What, indeed?

Sometimes I feel like if I were more perfect all my problems would be solved. Maybe I'm just not attractive enough?

None of those thoughts hold much ground any more actually.

So. I wanna be perfect, But I'm me. There's only so much, that a girl can do. And when I look in the mirror what I see makes sense to me, Perfectly.



Someday, I'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.