keeping us stargazing

My elder brother's birthday was yesterday, so the next birthday will be mine. In January. Next year. When I turn twenty.

OHMYGOSH. TWENTY. I'M GONNA BE THE FIRST TO BE OLD.

HELP!!!!

No no no no no no no no no no no I CANNOT be turning 20 in three month's time! This is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. YOU HEAR ME????

NO~~~~ I haven't been to Europe yet, I haven't gotten rid of the zits on my face, I haven't lost enough weight yet, I haven't gone on an exchange programme yet, I haven't stayed in a hostel YET! I haven't decided what to major in yet, I haven't made up my mind what career to choose yet, I haven't gotten a music diploma yet, I haven't (and probably won't anyway) step into a pub, I haven't got my driving license yet, haven't recorded a song with my band yet, haven't written any songs, haven't visited FINLAND YET!!!!

I haven't got a boyfriend yet!!!!!!

Yes ok fine, I know it sounds horribly desperate of me to say so, but.. How to say. I feel terribly old already. Ahhh~~ sob sob sob.

And I haven't found anyone to buy the NY Phil ticket and accompany me to watch them on 20th October... But that's not so much the point.

Hai. >.< Well. At least one can get used to it. Yes. That must be what growing up is about. Getting used to the unpleasant bits of life. Accepting that it's what life is about.

Chuuuu~~ Maybe I'm freaking out too early. There's still three months to go after all.

Still. Three months to go.



Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Some day we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.