Karenai Hana Tsu*
I've just been looking through old posts and I came across the entry I made when I was 16 going on 17. I wished then that I could skip all the years in between then till I was a freshman.
What made me so stupid as to say that? Those years I wanted to miss were some of the best years of my life. Silly me.
My writing style's changed too. Not so hyped and excited anymore.
And I suppose I've learnt quite a bit about affairs of the heart. Cute, innocent me in an all girls school. Sigh.
None of my birthday wishes have come true thus far, but for the better. Because as all Christians know, all things work out for the best of those who love God and are called to Him.
Really. Really really.
So interesting to look back at all the poor fellas I've had a crush on. First there was this guy in church, then there was this guy from an all boys school (the lying sweet talker; I'll never forget him), then there was this senior from my CCA, then there is Sami, and there is someone else too by the way but I'm not about to say who.
I was upset for a while that I could like two guys at the same time. Plus they're really different too. But Mom says its ok. Besides, Sami would never think of me in that way. Out of sight, out of mind. Although he is much more open now. I treasure our friendship, but I doubt it'll go further than that. He'll always be one of those people who'll make me smile when I remember him. Some things are kept stored within the heart.
One thing that three of the aforementioned guys have in common is height. The lack thereof, that is. Sigh. What is my problem??
What is it, really? Haven't I always said I would only want a person who was confident, independent and reliable? Who could take care of me? Somehow I'm not drawn to a person like that. Lol. Maybe my feelings towards him are really just as towards a younger brother?
I wanted to delete some of my older blog posts; I feel embarrassed reading them. But no, I won't for they part of who I am today. Whenever I feel too confident, I shall pick one or two to read and bring myself back down to terra firma.
*The blog post I made one year ago was also entitled Karenai Hana. "Tsu" is the Japanese way of saying "Two" :)
What made me so stupid as to say that? Those years I wanted to miss were some of the best years of my life. Silly me.
My writing style's changed too. Not so hyped and excited anymore.
And I suppose I've learnt quite a bit about affairs of the heart. Cute, innocent me in an all girls school. Sigh.
None of my birthday wishes have come true thus far, but for the better. Because as all Christians know, all things work out for the best of those who love God and are called to Him.
Really. Really really.
So interesting to look back at all the poor fellas I've had a crush on. First there was this guy in church, then there was this guy from an all boys school (the lying sweet talker; I'll never forget him), then there was this senior from my CCA, then there is Sami, and there is someone else too by the way but I'm not about to say who.
I was upset for a while that I could like two guys at the same time. Plus they're really different too. But Mom says its ok. Besides, Sami would never think of me in that way. Out of sight, out of mind. Although he is much more open now. I treasure our friendship, but I doubt it'll go further than that. He'll always be one of those people who'll make me smile when I remember him. Some things are kept stored within the heart.
One thing that three of the aforementioned guys have in common is height. The lack thereof, that is. Sigh. What is my problem??
What is it, really? Haven't I always said I would only want a person who was confident, independent and reliable? Who could take care of me? Somehow I'm not drawn to a person like that. Lol. Maybe my feelings towards him are really just as towards a younger brother?
I wanted to delete some of my older blog posts; I feel embarrassed reading them. But no, I won't for they part of who I am today. Whenever I feel too confident, I shall pick one or two to read and bring myself back down to terra firma.
*The blog post I made one year ago was also entitled Karenai Hana. "Tsu" is the Japanese way of saying "Two" :)
posted by munchkin @ 10:19 PM
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