The Salad Bowl

Izzi died today. I think he just died, cos his little body didn't stink or anything and his eyes were still shining. Like he was crying.... waaaaah.... Poor Izzi. I miss you Izzi! Thanks for all the times we had over the past three years. Thank you for giving me your life, your fun and all your attention little buddy.... Sigh. You are the last hamster from the very first batch of my own home bred hammies. Goodbye, little friend.

Down the garbage chute you go.

So anti-climatic. But I really have nowhere to bury you... Sayonara.

Was in church to play that song again... Oh wells. I think I did rather alright tonight, if I may say so myself.

The youth were having Alpha Course tonight but I didn't join them. And so I shut myself up in the creche room while they were having worship. Isn't that nice and isolated? But I'm only as alone as I choose to be. Why would anyone want to be all alone by themselves?

Hmm... I had violin lesson today. Asked Mr Seow to help me with some pieces. Hee... I know it was bad of me, but I couldn't help but laugh when he commented on something... Repeated it three times... oh hahahahahaha... Ohhhhh well. It doesn't bear mentioning here, but this is just a little note to remind myself to put it down in my own personal journal...

Hee...

I read a little email today. So discouraging. I'm sure that wasn't supposed to be the way I respond to it, but here it is. And it wasn't from a spiteful person. It was from a caring and concerned person. In fact, it is because it was from a well meaning and caring person that it became discouraging. If the person was just trying to be stupid and spiteful it won't have mattered so much. Sigh. Man, I feel discouraged even before I've even started! Can you believe it. I sure can't. I know it is good to think ahead of all the troubles that will befall one, and to be cautious and careful, but I think I've found someone who worries more than me. I know it won't be smooth sailing, that I've got a lot of expectations and things to do, but I could sure use some optimism. Being optimistic and relaxed ISN'T being slack. Why associate the two words? They don't even mean the same! Otherwise one of the words wouldn't exist. Why the grey and long faces? Why the doom saying and shaking of heads and sighs? We haven't even started for goodness sake, ITS A NEW BEGINNING!!!

Get it through to your head: we're not pushovers.

Anyhow, I am grateful for your concern and words of advice. I shall keep them in mind. *Thank goodness I don't worry half as much as you. My head would have exploded eons ago.*

Sigh. Really. I really feel discouraged now.

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and grief to bear. What a priviledge to carry everything to God in prayer. O what peace we often forfeit! O what needless grief we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

^_^ I feel comforted. Indeed, "For with God all things work together for the good of those who love Him, and who are called to His purpose." Romans 8:28. Hope I got that right. This is just a small part of my life. Its got its purpose to shape me. I just got to trust God and do the best I can!

Whew. What a salad bowl of emotions I have had today. I just wonder why my head isn't exploding. That would solve A LOT of troubles.