Have I ever told you?

I hate you.
Have I ever told you?
How much
I hate you.

The way
Your eyes
crinkled into slim Asian slits
in a cheerful and kind
smile
as we pass along the corridor-
I hate them.

The way
Your face
smooth and calm as a lake
after a tempest as you
sit
hard and serious at work-
I hate it.

The way
Your handwriting
neat, cultured, constrained and
more beautiful than I could ever
print
flows easily from your left hand-
I hate it.

The way
Your voice
calming, reassuring and somehow
intoxicating me into dumbness
resounds
ever in my mind long after it is gone-
I detest it.

The way
Your arms
Your laughter
Your eyes
Your deodorant
Your warmth
now long gone from me
envelope
my still paralysed senses and
Refuse to free me

So long after you are
Gone.

The next time
we pass
along the corridor,

Remind me to tell you
How much
I hate you.

Weird right? It came upon me last night when I couldn't sleep.

I hope it feels and sounds topsy-turvy, confused, in self-denial, and even slightly obsessed, because then it would have fulfilled its carthartic purposes.

Cue insane laughter. *Ahahahahahaha~

My days since returning from Korea have felt slightly surreal and crazy. Now, I wonder why.

Maybe it's the a capella performance this tuesday I'm not confident of. Maybe it's the Christmas baking I haven't started. Maybe it's the Christmas letter to Sami that I haven't sent. Maybe, just maybe, it's the hairbrained way I volunteered to play the violin for Christmas service, but still haven't really figured my bit out.

Ahahahahha! Cue more insane laughter.

Interestingly, someone just asked about Dr. Tamaki Saito! My post from 2 years back was finally COMMENTED ON! For real!!!

Lol! I only hope I can find my materials for her. I hope she won't be disappointed.