second guessing

Yesterday morning at 9:13am I received an sms that made me happier than I have ever been in a while. But it also opened a can of worms, which I decided, most consciously, to close. I think I finally understand what it means to be so happy that you're afraid you'll wake up to find its only a dream.

Perhaps not coincidentally, I also had more fun shopping with Mom yesterday, than I have had in a long while.

Thinking over it, I guess I somehow got back to reality. I mean, it doesn't mean anything. Maybe, he's just using me cause he's lonely or bored. Then I'd really be a sucker, wouldn't I?

Sigh.

BUT...! I really really want to believe him this time. I really want to believe its true this time! But how to?

He told me a while back that he dreamt of the quiche I made last Christmas. I made it again today, and looking at it I wonder if I should bring him a small piece on Thursday...

My gosh. I really am such a sucker. Pure idiocy. Glutton for punishment. Blind fool. He has a life out there, can you please go get one too Jane?

Eesh. Seriously, girl.