:'(

Oh great. Now life really stinks.

Mao Mao's dead. I shall try to upload the last, healthy picture I have of him.

Rest in peace little friend.

Mao Mao

Born: 2002

Died: 21st February 2006

To Mao Mao, a happy, cuddly, docile hamster,

who was sometimes the only one I could cry to.

Goodbye. He's gone to join Pearl and Patches and Prince and Blackie and Izzie and Vivace and Tiny wherever dead hamsters go.

LIFE SUCKS. Don't try to refute me. Because you CAN'T.

-_-

We both agree the best thing to happen would be that. Just that simple little event. Sure it'd leave a lot of people sad and stuff, and sure it's selfish, but gee, I can't stand this kind of life.

Don't wanna go to sccccchhhooooooooooool. :(

I just want to sleeeeeep forever. I'm so tired -_-"

Excuse my whining. It's going to continue for a while more.

My C lit teacher saw me today and collected my home and handphone number. Great. Life sucks no. 1

I have quite a few relief teachers at this point of time and I don't understand what they're saying! I want my regular teachers back. Life sucks no. 2

I can't play Mozart and scales because my fingers and hand refuse to. Life sucks no. 3

I got myself committed to some STUPID thing I don't even want to go for now. Why does this always happen? Life sucks no. 4

CCA is expensive, if you consider the fees, the attire, the instrument, the lessons, the instructor (this one I protest), the phone bills, the stuff printed out, the stuff to be planned and the time. Life sucks no. 5

And therefore,

I CAN'T CONCENTRATE IN SCHOOL ANYMORE! LIFE SUCKS. Period.

I'm going to sleep. I pray I can wake up at 3am tomorrow.

Hehz

I'm back.

Realized I didn't say anything about LSC this year. Graces. Yes indeed, some people in my class could sure use it. Starting with the burping froggie sitting next to me. Heehee! Ok, so maybe Janey's not so perfect after all, she doesn't seem to know the difference between a tube dress and a long skirt. Lolz.

Makeup. Dress. Heeled shoes. Hair.

Oh gosh I don't like bothering about these things! But actually they intrigued me :). I've got the dress, check. I've got the shoes, check. (Esprit has nice shoes! Though I've already gotten mine. ESPRIT HAS 50% OFF THIS WHOLE MONTH!!!!!!!!) I do not know WHAT in the world I will do with my hair, got lots of it. And I do not have makeup, besides the bare essentials. Foundation gives me pimples >.<

Will probably ask Rongie or Elainey to do my hair, and as for the makeup... It sucks having a mom who doesn't really care about such stuff sometimes. I shall do without then. Less stuff to wash off my face later that night :)

To bring list:
1) Hair dryer, without which I will simply die (Yokie, Shooee and Elaine will have to endure me)
2) Nice, thin hardcover book (No Harry Potters please)
3) Dress, makeup, shoes, shawl (I'd rather use my pink half-sweater)
4) Hmm, what else?

No idea. Got to take a proper picture of myself in my dress tomorrow. Ms Chua's checking... hoho.

Hmm... Can't wait to see certain people in their gowns/dresses.
To look out for list:
Melissa! (The fruits of her most painful shopping experience)
Jasmine
Li Xuan!
Shu Ning
En Qi, Minting, Yu Zhen!
Joanna
Jaslin
Yok Teng
Eunice
Tianyi
Elaine
Brittany
Ruth!
Ding Jia

Note: Above ranking has no order, except for the first seven names. Heehee.

Hoho. I shall take pictures ^_^ with the wonderful invention called the camera phone.

Sigh. I hate Monday nights. Nevermind. I will endure. >.<

Oh well. Just realized I've spent an hour at the computer le, so I shall fly!

Sighs

>.<

Feel so much like a sucker sometimes. Oh well...

Radio play was interesting today ^_^ And one of my group members was absent... again. Lalala. Got a debate to plan for too! Rargh. Got to get Yok Teng to read and critic my story. She was absent today, and I'm not the only one who finds our little sitting area quiet and sort of empty without her.

In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light my strenght my song
This Cornerstone, this Solid Ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storms
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled and strivings cease.
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Elaine's piano exam is coming. Good luck Elaine! You won't fail, unless you get so nervous you screw up (touch wood), which is the only probable reason you screw up. Sigh... relax! For goodness sake. And for all our sakes. Go shopping with us! You need to chill!!!! >.< 练了一年, 应该算够了吧. >.< I shall be praying for you :)

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross that Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live.

Somebody is coming back. Somebody who can be nice but for some reason usually isn't. PUSHY PENGUINS! HELP! *I want Mr Chan to stay!* Sobz...

I shall pray hard that I'll live through it and somehow convince my teacher IC to let me retire early... Sigh.

Yes, I must remember:

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Love the orchestration for this hymn. I'll never understand how they manage to fit the words in so beautifully even though its not through composed, because they can't change the music to fit the words. Its so uplifting its hard to feel depressed. So I shall not. I shall not let my greenhouse of a heart grow weeds. Yes. I wish it was as easy as real life!

Must grow flowers. Lots of pretty flowers. :)

Can you feel the love tonight?

Haha... Elaine and I were serenading a certain SOMEONE who pretended not to notice us. Haha. What a pity today is Tueday, not Wednesday.

Today is a happy day indeed. Despite failing Math, and not doing quite well in Bio. Lalala... Please don't ever let my joy be cut short. I wish this would last till the end of Sec 4. *screams* Pushy Penguins!!!!

God is teaching me patience. I was TRYING to help my little brother at the piano with his practice. He was constantly wiping sweat, scratching his head, and etc. and I was telling myself to be kind and patient and all. He can't play mi fa so fa mi without pausing to ask me how to play the last mi even though he's been learning for nearly half a year. In the end when I most calmly and nicely asked him to play it one more time he started crying saying oh he wasn't good at it and oh he wanted to do a million other things. Nevermind. Forebear. Then when I tried to get him to practice his second piece he started whining and all so I told him go, I didn't care whether Ms Goh scolds him tomorrow. So there. I failed. And therefore I will probably have to do it again. Oh God, spare me please!

Patience. Yes. So many teachers have given me patience, especially my C Lit teacher, and therefore I must do my best!!!!! >.<

I'm not a teacher!!!!!!!!

Yayee. I love the golden rose Elaine gave me. Though I forgot to bring her present today. As well as my wallet. Along with my ezlink card and photocopying card. And my purse. How lucky can I get?? If this run of bad luck is anything to gauge by, very.

Chinese Lit tomorrow. Everybody say, "Die." I am beginning to wish C Lit was non-examinable. I've been trying and trying to memorise the facts, but as Ti Fen said today, it just doesn't stick. It slaps onto the mind, and then slides off like slime.

I've started again on "Familiar Summer", though I wish I had someone to edit it, to guide me so I'd know how I'm doing.

Why do I write? For my feelings, for the things I can't say, can't show, can't tell anyone. For my dreams, hopes, and beliefs. And for the person I am.

I never want to stop feeling, because though I wouldn't be sad or rage or hurt someone, I couldn't love, care, sympathize or rejoice anymore.

Let this be our prayer
Just like any child
As we go our way.

The Gold in Garbage

"Just like Jesus", by Max Lucado.

I never realised how human He was, till I read that Jesus heard his calling from God. He was human, so human! He learned to talk, walk, read, and He learnt to walk close to His Father. How amazing indeed, that the Son of God would lay aside His Majesty for me, me!

Anyway. Trash, lots of trash. Chinese lit that goes through one eye and out the other, Math that makes sense and then DOESN'T, Mozart that seems to love killing second violins, fingers that don't seem made for scales, and of course, my penchant for always being a loser in affairs of the heart. Argh!

God help me to see You're always there no matter what. Jesus could, although He was perpetually neck deep in trash.

CCA today. Gee, I'm beginning to hate Mozart. But it's been a lot more relaxing. Not more slack, but more relaxing. How I wish it could always stay this way. :( I want to believe there are nice, caring people out there. Pushy Penguins, I'm counting on you!!!! You've got to solve my Problem for me ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Gee, what am I crapping?

Sigh.

Haiz. When people suddenly disappear, what does it mean? Does it mean they're tired of talking to you, sick of hearing your voice and therefore just dump you as and when they like? I could call him a jerk, or just blame myself, as I did before.

Haiz. I feel so used sometimes, and I especially hate those who use me. Feel so much like a loser sometimes. Perhaps that's why I can empathize well.

Good? Or bad?

Sec 4's just begun but it already sucks. Big time.

But it won't last forever.

It's time to TRY to find the Gold in the Garbage.

:(

Sigh. *Feeling slightly depressed, but only slightly because no one can really be gloomy around e-lainey*

If nitrogen is to Math, then Science is to oxygen, Music is to carbon dioxide, while the rare gases like Argon are to those random but often then not very lame homework.

Q: What's the relation of gases in the atmosphere to different types of homework?

Ans: They share the same percentage, either in the atmosphere or in my "Assignments" folder.

If oxygen is to English, then a mixture of carbon dioxide and oxygen is to Biology and Music, while nitrogen is to Chemistry and Math is to carbon monoxide.

No prizes for guessing this one.

Math, the silent killer. Math, the all time high fatality rate-er.

*Oh gross my younger brother spilled juice all over the computer table and keyboard! Oh this is SO GROSS!*

d
x]]]]]]xs kmhn';lkjhgy bxczxczsdbhn de m ';[nm xdc 54215620O9876543QWS;P

Ahem. That was the process of cleaning the keyboard.

Things have been so weird lately.

A change of clothes. That's how fast things have been happening around here. But I'm not surprised at it.

Gosh, I never thought my sense of deep dislike could get deeper, but it just did a few days back. I shall refrain from even the slightest form of swearing. Argh.

I wonder if they know how it feels. I suppose everyone does. I would be very surprised, taken aback, horrified and yes, envious if I could find a person who didn't know it.

To be appreciated to that degree. I am surprised sometimes, at how much I find I would give. Find me someone who despises/hates/is irritated by being appreciated for who they are. I'd like very much to interview them, maybe even send it to a pyschologist for a deeper study.

*Feels very sorry, very puzzled, quite angry, and a little depressed*

Still, I'm not blaming anyone.

Sigh. Time to go back to writing, thinking about, solving and breathing "CO".

Lories!

Chinese New year break is over. ^_^ Lories are cute!

Yes. Lories are cute, and Mr Deng Xiao Ping's seedling is young.

Ask me for the pictures. Haha. Can't upload them for SOME reason. Yay.

It's obvious Jane is not herself today.

Siiiigh. :( Why are some people never online?!?!?!

It's been more than a week already!

Maybe I've been blocked -_-.

SIGH. :( :(