Matriculation

So Weiren was right. I queued for 45 mins, and waited, seated, for 15 mins. It took 2 mins to collect my matric card, and I'm sure my butt only touched the seat for 30seconds to hand in all my forms.

Lol. But to their credit, they cleared 100 people in 15 mins, while I was waiting for my turn; for 413 to increase to 516.

I met Kong Eater there, and then after that I met Pei Zhi! So "The Hobbit" went largely unread.

I see that as an assurance that God will take care of me :)

Signed up for NUSSO after all. What inspired me to do that? Now I'll have to practice again >.<>.< Bleah.

I feeling all reluctant and excited and happy and generally peaceful.

It's always been this peace that's assured me that God will take care of me. I've had it in Nanyang, in ACJC, but not in JJC or RJC. Not that there's something wrong with them, but that I think they weren't right for me.

So I know, it's right for me.

P.S. Can't wait for my lappie!! x)
P.S. 2 Isn't "matriculation" such a horribly technical and depressing term?

Yesterday, a miracle happened.

Yesterday, a miracle happened.

It started as a small caterpillar. Smaller than a pin, and almost as thin.

It grew up with another companion, who ate humongous amounts of fresh lime leaves, swelled, stretched, and turned from the yellow and black of babyhood to a plump, juicy green. With feelers and all.

While our little Miracle stayed small, and didn't eat much. Sometimes, we even forgot Miracle was there.

In two weeks the fat, huge (it really was the hugest of all the caterpillars we've reared) one turned into a green, satisfied cocoon, and emerged duly, the largest and most beautiful butterfly I'd ever seen.

It was then that I wrote "new everyday" and composed my poem based on this large one.

Then Miracle somehow realized it was being left behind and started to eat. Not much, just enough to start growing.

We plucked a handful of leaves for Miracle, thinking that it had just delayed its development until its companion left.

But no. Miracle ate a few leaves, then turned into a cocoon a few days after green started to appear. It hadn't even lost its black and yellow colouration completely.

Miracle's cocoon failed to stick to the side of the container. It also turned brown immediately (cocoons don't turn brown until after the butterfly emerges.)

We thought Miracle was dead.

But somehow none of us got round to disposing the container.

Then yesterday morning Miracle happened. Miracle is small, and was quite tottery at first, but it flew off from my window just before noon.

It's the large ones like Miracle's friend, Joy, who are encouraging. But it's the little ones like Miracle who are inspiring.




I have a souvenir patch of poop from Miracle on my lovely red batik fan. Gotta get round to washing it off. Yucks.

Bursting dams

Whooo! Finally got this blogger, or rather, SingNet problem fixed.

For all poor Singaporeans undermined by a lousy ISP, please refer to

http://sporecowboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/solution-for-singnet-problem-on.html

for the solution! (For IE, that is. Firefox, I believe, is Crtrl-F5)

Anyway, here's my blog post for yesterday, 23-7-09

"Gideon Days

I feel like crying, screaming, stamping my feet and slapping some persons right now. ALL at once.

First. Why choose me? I am like, the least capable person of all potential persons.

Second. God is already taking people away from me.

Have you ever heard of such a case? Where the leaders in church tell the sheep, "Thou shalt not serve the Lord thy God"???

Like what the? TOTALLY WHAT THE???

I'm evidently not ALLOWED, yes not ALLOWED to involve the singers from the Chinese Choir. Who do they think they are, God???

I'm SO glad I'm not them. They have SO MUCH to answer to Him.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to call those people on the phone RIGHT now and tell them how much they've hurt me, and how much trouble they are in RIGHT now.

Somehow, it's like God, halving Gideon's army.
Well I guess if I can see it that way, it's not so bad. It's ok, even.

Mommy says it's good, in a way. The whole Chinese ministry is one big screwed up mess right now. So I should stay away.

When the water stinks, don't get in."

K that was that. The water can go rot, evaporate, dry up, flow down the drain, I don't care.

This is Tuesday's blog post 21-7-09

"It's three years to the day, and I find myself watching the recording of Nanyang Glitters.

I don't know whether I'm correct or not, but it seems like in the Sarasate it was a budding soloist and a student orchestra. I mean, we had STUDENT Orchestra written all over us.

Sigh. Maybe it's just me. I always look back to the time in NYSE when we weren't playing, aka the not-in-practice times with a fond smile. And until lately I haven't felt the desire to join another orchestra again.

Except maybe now I think it would be nice to join one.

Except, again, I don't know if I'll make it into NUS symphony orchestra. >.<

Audition Requirements:
TWO contrasting pieces
Sight-reading
Scales

Oh crap, I'd better restart my violin lessons soon!!!"

First flight

Alright I finally did it. Told him that he shouldn't be so thoughtful for no reason.

Guess what? I'm not the only one to have told him that. When I heard that he's having problems of his own, I guess I couldn't help but forgive him.

Yes, I did need to forgive him.

Haish. I feel quite empty now. I would be still angry, because of my forgetting finnish boy, but I guess I'm glad I'm not in his shoes.

What a little fool I've been. All this while, all these years since I first had a crush.

Hopefully the girl he comes to love will not have to go through what I have. That she will have his concentrated attention and devotion that only she deserves.

Stupid me. I hope I really learn my lesson this time. And I hope I've been a good friend too.

Will my future shoes be like that too?

Somehow I have been talked into opting for Political Science instead of Japanese Studies.

First it was Shooee, then Mommy, then Shana, then... myself. Haha.

This past week has been a little tumultaneous. If you were Shana you'd know what I mean.

I'll come across the right shoes someday. I know I will. I already have in real life. So metaphorically speaking I know I will too.

The thing is, literally speaking, all my right shoes are expensive. Does that mean that metaphorically speaking, my shoes will be loaded with cash too?

Ahahaha. That would be so interesting. Unless it means I have to invest a lot of cash into it. Now that would NOT be so interesting anymore.

Ah. I think I like walking home at night through the dark carpark. Singing songs to myself, not caring who sees. It's somehow good for my spirit.

I guess meeting Elainey for lunch today was also good for my spirit. Have a safe trip back! And stay flu-free.

The meaning of what happiness is

I've got my new feeling today. I realized he's just that nice to everybody, and so I'm not writhing with confusion anymore.

Is what I want to think anyway. I refuse to do anything more.

I went back today to see the kids at about 4.20. They were at the playground. I met Xiu Ling today ^.^ It's been so long since I last saw her. She's soo cute!

And if there's one thing I've learnt, it's how to handle G.

"Teacher Jane, I know why you came back today. You came to see Teacher Weiren."

"No, I came back because I missed you so much, G." I'm so brilliant. The little vixen shut her mouth after that. There was this moment of each of us smiling sweetly at each other; I wanted to strangle her, she wanted to call me a liar. But I wasn't lying. Not completely anyway.

And my new feeling is also because I came closer to coming to terms with myself today. I can't draw people close to me or make them open up through friendly talk or looks (only I HAVE been uncannily successful with Sami, but I don't think it's because I'm good); I think I confuse some people because I fluctuate between warm and cold at times.

In short. I am not small, slim, pretty, outgoing, charming, loving or the like. Not on the outside at least.

But that's ok. I have my own way of telling people I love them. And I know kindred spirits, or "the race of Joseph" as Miss Cornelia says, can understand me.

If he can't understand me, then that's alright.

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading, roses wither away
Like the sunflower I long to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day

I guess it's also because of the chat I had with Sami last night. I think I've settled into a contented, assured friendship with him. It's fresh and encouraging, and puts a smile on my lips.

Thank you Sami, for letting me love you. No matter how silly I was over you. I wish I could tell you, how much I really thank you.

let the memory live again

Nobody's updating, so I shall.



Skimbleshanks, the railway cat.


Except this one's actually called Tama-chan, and is female. But she's the pretty much the correct colour for Skimbleshanks.

Sami leaves for NS tomorrow. All the best, my friend. May the Lord keep you and reveal Himself to you. I hope we meet again.

As for me, I wish tomorrow were the 20th of June again. Even if it means going through the week that follows.

20th of June. 20th of June.

caterpillar days

There's something seriously wrong with me.

Why was I so cold today towards someone who was so friendly to me?

Maybe because I must admit she's perfect for him: short, pretty, active, confident and so caring.

But I must seriously get over this, if I'm going to plan the Christmas carolling event well.

Got it. I'll just not include him in the committee. So my personal feelings won't be in the way. But somehow, it seems like they already are.

Oh, to forget everything.