Karenai Hana

Monday, April 14, 2008

Karenai Hana

Anata ga DAIIII SUKII!

Ok, I needed to get that off my heart. I've really really got it bad. Especially since we're gotten closer as friends.

But I know, someday, one day, you will leave.

Oh how could I face the faceless days, if I should lose you now? We're so close, so close, and yet so far...

:( sigh

You've been so nice recently. Actually, you always are, aren't you? But it feels like... Uh-oh, here we go again. *whacks own head* Stop. I'm sure it doesn't mean ANYTHING at all.

OH my gosh, Jane, you don't even know how he looks like, or if you can trust what he says.

>.< Dear God, if there's something I really really want for right now, it's to see him just once, just for a while, in this life. Maybe I should ask to be able to fly over after my A levels? Gosh, my parents would freak out!

Wait a second. Do I really want that? I'd be so self-conscious man. Maybe not after all. Plus, what makes you, Ms Jane, think that he'd want to see you, hmm? There you go, assuming left and right again.

Gosh, I don't know my own heart and mind at all. To all misled people out there, I don't think I want to be a doctor anymore. After listening to all those doctors out there, I don't think I have the love, the ability, the calling to do what it takes. Lord Jesus, unless you call me to that ministry, I won't force my way in.

I guess I'm not the only one, right Limpie? Thank goodness we have a God who's never lost control. A God who loves us and doesn't demand perfection from us.