Fun O Rama XIX is now officially HISTORY

It's Post Fun-O-Rama day 1 . And tomorrow is Counting Coupons Day.

But I shaln't talk about FOR yet. Not for some time now.

Mika Hakkinen was driving at St. Andrew's Street today. But I gave it a miss. Maybe it's because I'm not really allowed out (or rather, don't have a reason to go out). Maybe it's because I'm too tired (I spent today sleeping). Or maybe it's because Mika-sama's face in the newspaper today looked really tired, old and downcast. If my family had just split apart, I would be too. But then I don't know what really happened.

Hmm. I'm feeling down myself. Since life is a cycle, I should have expected this after the past few days of fair and sunny weather. But because life is a cycle I guess I can look forward to things getting better. And then getting worse after that. But just as pain warns us of danger to our body, sadness reminds us of what we have (or had. But that's too pessimistic).

Sometimes I wonder if my own sadness is self-inflicted. By analysing too much, taking hints that aren't there or worrying too much. Sometimes it's just so hard to tell. I think I may have offended you or got you into trouble, but I have no evidence. I think I may have been too obvious about my feelings, and you caught on about it, but once again, I've got no evidence.

I should just paralyse that part of my brain. It's working overtime.

In any case, this is a good time to renew my promise to you: I will not spoil our friendship.

Rawwr. But I wish you'd tell me stuff sometimes, instead of keeping it all to yourself...!

Haix. I wonder how many people will turn up for school tomorrow? Maybe less than half the J2s, and slightly more than half the J1s. Somehow I think the J1s have more energy than us "older folks" :)

I wish somebody I could talk to would come onto MSN now. I wish Limpie would come on now. Then I could tell her more about FOR. Therapy for that traumatic experience :D Nah, not really. I think I did enjoy myself with Lai Yeng and Eater. And Yokie, when she was social enough to walk around with us.

I hope to see them all in school tomorrow.

Wait, correction: I hope to see Yokie in school tomorrow, because she's the only one among us with skiving tendencies.

Headache >.<

Today's a sad day.

I tried, but I failed. Any body who thinks I'm a leader can just go away. I'm a failure at such things. I can't even keep my comm together.

I think I tried. I gave way to people, I listened to their comments. I let them do what they want, even though I didn't agree. Maybe it was because I wasn't decisive or authoritative enough. If I had come down hard with an iron fist, maybe they wouldn't be so resentful. After all, they wouldn't have had a choice in the first place. But I had hoped they'd compromise too.

But when did all this start going downhill? Everything was going fine, we were all agreeable and happy to be working together.

I do know what's wrong. I have eyes, ears, and a good functional brain. I know what happened. I know exactly what caused all this.

But what good it do? Everybody was so moody today. I guess I'm just not charismatic enough. Shit larh. Next time I'm turning leadership down. No more next time.

At least I still have Yok Teng. And the others. Yokie's such a solid wall. I can't say how much confidence I've gotten from her.

To top it off, I can't give more than monotones from you today. But it's true after all- even when my dreams come true, it's only partially so. Shiiiit. I would rather they not happen at all then to be let down once more. Guess it's my expectations at fault again. After all, you don't know what happened in my life. You don't care, either. And it's not your fault that you don't either. Thus, I should not feel so hurt. When it rains it pours.

Donna ni touku hanarete itemo, kono uta koe ga kimi ni todoku you ni. But maybe it's really time to say goodbye?

On a brighter note, happy birthday Daddy. I should be buying you a present, but you bought me a dress :)

I shalln't think of tomorrow anymore. I've got today left, and I shall enjoy it before tomorrow comes.

And I shall start with a shower.

Namida ga zutto tomaranai yoru, kimi no mado wo terasu tsuki ni naritai.
Hitori hitori ni yuku bashou ga aru; sono bashou de mou ichido deau you ni.

Dare mo sagashiteru yume wa...

Fun-O-Rama is coming!

Whew. I thought it'd never arrive.

Anybody out there interested in coming? Preferably anybody who hasn't bought tix yet...? Look for me on Sat k? I'll be selling some.

Argh >.<

I'm supposed to be calling one of my great-great-great-great-grand seniors who was from 2SC4 more than a decade ago (12 years to be precise) but I don't quite feel up to it >.<

Tomorrow's banner painting! I'm so glad to have such varied talent in my class and food comm. :) This has been more fun than I expected, and all because everybody's pitching in to help.

Oh, and Kimi-sama won yesterday! Hahahaha. Take that, Hamilton. Yay. Ganbatte ne, Raikkonen-sama! It was quite cool that both Finns were on the podium together, but they didn't seem to take much notice of that. Oh well. I'm sure the Finnish fans notice though!

Hmmm... ^_^ Shiawase! And I found the lyrics and translation for FMP TSR Ed, Mou Ichido Kimi Ni Aitai. And schoolwork has been quite slack recently. I guess things just go your way once in a while huh?

To be honest, I've been on cloud nine for a while now. I desist to mention why, but it's a nice feeling. I shall enjoy it while it lasts.

I think the highlight of the past few days was when S told me about his band. And their first song. Lol! SO funny. I really appreciated it. I wish he'd sing though. Hahaha. That would be even nicer. Even if he went out of tune all the time I'd have fun listening to it. But I guess that would be too mean of me.

Oh wells. You can't always have everthing I guess.

Donna ni touku hanarete itemo
Ko no uta koe ga kimi ni todoku youni
Namida ga zutto tomaranai no yoru
Kimi no mado terasu tsuki ni naritai

Why is the poor moon always dragged into our mortal dealings anyway? I imagine the people from days of yore must have seen it and taken it to be a sort of guardian, always looking down.

Speaking of people's beliefs in olden days, Mr. B was telling us today about superstitions ('cause after Antonio marries the Duchess, the poor fellow becomes very much so) and he mentioned rabbits' paws as one of the good luck charms that people used to carry.

Mr B. : "Good luck perhaps for the people, but obviously bad luck for the rabbits."
Nicole: "Oh no, sir, what about the poor rabbits?"
Mr B.: "They were hopping mad of course."

Lol! Pretty lame, but that's the least lame of all Mr B.'s jokes. In fact, to his credit, most of us burst out laughing at that. Mr B.'s made a name for himself when some of his fellow cast came up with a catch phrase whenever someone cracks a lame joke-"Oh-ho! You're cracked a B!"

Lol. Talk about legacies.

^_^

Haiiiii.... I guess I'd better get back to my work and stuff...

But before that,

GET WELL SOON Janice aka Limpie aka Floatie aka.... I've run out of names!

Anyway. Get your behind back in school ASAP! Mind you come back hale and hearty too!

I survived!

The NTU-dedicated week is over! Whooots!

Yeah. I made it.

Unfortunately, it also means school is starting soon.... :(

Haix.

On a more cheerful note, Mika-sama is coming to Singapore! Shiawase!!!!!

Unfortunately, I probably can't go. Because it's on Sunday, 30th March, and there's no way I can go without Mom finding out... It's not illegal or anything, but I'm pretty sure she'll give me this weird look and forbid me going.

Why??? Why is there always a clause that goes "unfortunately..."??? A racing legend comes to Singapore and I CAN'T GO!

Ok, I'll be honest. It isn't so much about racing. I mean, when the Red Bull youth team driver came I didn't take much notice (I don't even remember his name). But this is Mika-sama...!

I'm still not being honest. Really...

Saa, it's because you first mentioned Mika Hakkinen to me. If you hadn't he would just be another person to me. Because of you, he took on a shine too.

Ahh >.< I need to get my feet back on the ground. After this past week of H3 and the various (and progressively) bad news that Prof Yu told us over the course of the week, I have more work to do. Such as serving as a certain agency's little white (and fat) lab rat. Honestly. They could have set clearer guidelines. "Constantly changing to serve the changing needs of today's global economy"? True, but they forgot to mention that they are using this generation as guinea pigs.

I should probably stop here, before I provide enough information for any offended persons to sue me.

Let's change the subject. Oh yes, Okko Kamu is Finnish too! I didn't know that. I remember Mrs. Ee telling us how the SSO always sounds different when the conductor changes. And she was particularly full of praise for Okko Kamu ;)

Ahh. There I go again. Stop stop stop.

Kaleido Star, here I come!

Day Ichi

Ahhh... today is over >.<

I'm bushed.

I'm having another cycle today.

Mood 1: Tired and depressed.

2hrs practical, 3 hrs break, 2 hrs lecture, 2 hrs tutorial. Give me a break man. I mean, yes, I had 3 hrs break but you know, sometimes its the long, long, long breaks that tire you most. When your mind has nothing much to do but count down the remaining hours. Prof Li rushed through the lecture today. He's an amazing lecturer. 2 hrs was already very short for the amount of content he had to cover, but his lecture time was further shortened by the double-booking of the LT we were supposed to use. Somehow, he covered all 76 slides in less than 1.5hrs, and still managed to be more coherent and comprehendable than some lecturers (or rather one lecturer) who have had 6 hrs. When he finished EXACTLY on the dot, everyone applauded. Prof Lars came in for his tutorial today, and I could see him trying to engage us. Unfortunately, the circumstances were just against him. We'd already had 7 hrs worth of brain activity, with the last 1.5 being particularly taxing, and we just couldn't take it in anymore. And then there was Prof Law who, with his perpetual grin, somehow crammed even more into our heads.

Darn. Why am I not surprised that I have no motivation whatsoever to go back tomorrow?

Mood 2: Slightly rejuvenated, with more determination.

Akiramete nai, nai, NAI! I went through my blessings with God in the shower, and I realized how fortunate I am. Maybe I've been watching too much Kaleido Star, but I think I see how Sora makes it through tiring times. When you take time to realize that you've got friends, you've got family, you've got creature comforts, and most importantly, you've got God, who in the first place gave you all these things, you start to feel more uplifted.

I thank God for this day, for the sun in the sky,
For the friends that I have, for the fun that we have shared.

Yes, this March holiday will be the most meaningful and memorable one I've ever had.

For His love that's all around, 'cause He listens to our prayers.
That's why I say thanks everyday.
Because a thankful heart is a happy heart,
I'm glad for what I have, that's an easy way to start.

In fact, that's the only way to start. Why focus on the things I'm missing, when I can enjoy the things I do have?

For His love that's all around, 'cause He listens to our prayers.
That's why I say thanks everyday.

I guess this goes to show VeggieTales isn't just for kids :) Though this version of the Thankfulness Song has some editions of my own.

I haven't sung this song in a long time. Maybe that's why I've been feeling so tired since this year started. It's because I'd forgotten how to give it all to God.

Notice something? This time the cycle's coming round.

My emotions have been fighting their monthly battle for control over my brain. I just counted, and realized, with some relief, that this is state of mind, or rather heart, is perfectly normal.

Sigh. I wish it wasn't though.

Mood 1: Depressed.
This coming week, I'll be at NTU from 0830hrs to 1730hrs for H3 Bio. Makes me wish I hadn't taken it, but yet, without it, and without doing well in it, I won't be able to apply for any scholarship. A necessary evil, I suppose.

Mood 2: Slightly perky
Watched a bit of Shrek 3 that mom is watching as she irons. It isn't as good as the first two Shreks, but it's still got some funny bits. Realized how lucky I am to live in an age of info tech where I can talk to dear Elainey who is miles and miles away with no added cost. Read a bit of ancient news about Mika-sama and laughed. Read more recent news about said person and felt sad again.

Mood 3: Depressed.
I've come full cycle. Stay tuned for the next cycle.

Here's a short quote from Mika-sama which sums up my feelings on leadership exactly:

"When you lead, you have to like put a double... er, er uhh concentration because you know... you just have to."

(Quote taken from hakkinen.com, Spain 1998 post race interview.)

You just have to. Oh the curse of leadership.

The er-ing and uhh-ing reminds me of someone. Hahaha... Don't worry, I think even your English is better than Hakkinen's. But it does remind me of the way you struggle for the right word sometimes. You're always so self-conscious about your grammar. But keep going, you'll improve with time. Kitto! (Especially if you take more time to talk to me ;) )

As for the more recent news, Mika-sama may be divorcing his wife. Aww. I know it's got nothing to do with me, but it gets you down when the person you sort of admire does something you don't think is right. I mean, the oldest of his children is not even 10 yet. In fact, his marriage is around the 7 year mark where most divorces often occur, according to Singapore statistics anyway. I hope it isn't true anyway. Marriages need to be worked out after all.

I'm reminded of a saying I saw somewhere that "true love has no happy ending, because true love never ends."

It's quite interesting the way this saying puts two cliche sayings together and proves that one is real while the other is just an ideal.

I wonder what true love really feels like. Does it happen when you can't stop thinking of someone? Is it when you only want to make them happy and see them smile back at you? Or...?

Koi ni aimai na kotae wa iranai.

My sinus is acting up again. Maybe it'll get so bad I can't go tomorrow...? Wait, I'm not supposed to be happy about that.

An Inane Post

Time for a short siesta from Terms. (A.k.a. a little inane blogging.)

Although goodness knows I've slacked off enough for today. But muahaha.

GP, Lit, Econs and Chem are over! Yeah! Tomorrow's Bio. Argh. I've slacked for too long. Need to pick up speed again!

Hmm. My GP seat number was A5, Lit was H44, Econs was F1 (hahaha) and Chem today was 41D. I wonder what number I'll get tomorrow? Probably around Row 40 to 44.

Oh, speaking of F1, Eater's face when I told her my seat number was hilarious. But you know Eater, I didn't realize it's significance until I saw your face. So whose doing is it anyway?

Hmm. People seem to think Hamilton will win this year. But the odds at Singapore Pools are looking better for Raikkonen.

Ahhh, I don't want Hamilton to win! Rargh! >.< I think he talks too much.

I want Kimi to win! I think he deserves to win more than Hamilton, that upstart. Then he'll have two driver's championships to his name. Like Mika Hakkinen :D But if, no WHEN, he wins again I'll still think Mika is the best. Mika-sama wa sugoi desu! Ichiban desu~!

Oh yes, the newspaper called Kovalainen "inexperienced". It was shortly after they called Kimi a "Flying Finn". Aww. Such stark contrast. That has to hurt. Ah well, the mass media never changes.

Tonikaku, ganbatteru, Raikkonen-sama!

Huhh. I need to be studying photosynthesis, but it's not getting into my head >.<

Let's try typing some of it out here.

Eh-hem.

Mechanism of light dependent stage of photosynthesis:

1. Light energy comes in discrete packets called quanta/photons.

2. Chlorophyll absorbs the light and energy is transferred to an electron in the chlorophyll molecule.

3. The electron is then raised to an unstable energized state and leaves the chlorophyll molecule.

4. This excited electron (whee) migrates from one molecule to another until the extra energy is dissipated and this energy released is utilized for the synthesis of ATP in the chloroplast.

5. Only 2 forms of chlorophyll a can be oxidized- P700 and P680. They are primary pigments/reaction centres.

6. At the reaction centres, the excited electron is then passed to an acceptor molecule and enters into a series of redox reactions which are coupled to the synthesis of chemical energy in the form of ATP. This process is called PHOTOPHOSPHORYLATION.

Hmm. Ok I think something got in to my head. This seems to be effective.

Basically, light energy excites electron, electron whees its way to reaction centre, gets passed to acceptor molecule at ETC and causes generation of proton reservoir leading to chemiosmotic synthesis of ATP: PHOTOPHOSPHORYLATION.

Hai! That's covered now.

Next.

Forms of Photophosphorylation

1. Cyclic photophosphorylation- Photosystem 1/P700,

2. Non-cyclic photophosphorylation- Photosystem 2/P700 and P680

1. The same steps as mentioned in the above section take place. After the redox reactions, the electron returns to ground state and returns to the chlorophyll a molecule P700. As such, only ATP is synthesized and this takes place in conditions of low levels of NADP and CO2.

Now for the more complicated one.

2. Once again, the same steps as mentioned in the above section take place, except that the electron from PS I does not go through the ETC. Instead,

a) The energized electron from PS I is accepted by electron acceptor then passed to ferredoxin and then to NADP each molecule of which retains 2 electrons.

b) With the 2 extra electrons, NADP attracts 2 protons to give NADPH+H+.

c) To fill the electron gap in P700, electrons from P680 are excited and emitted. They pass through the ETC and are coupled to the synthesis of ATP. This in return leaves an electron gap in PS II. (Gee, like duh.)

d) To replace the electrons emitted, water is lysed at PS II to give oxygen gas, protons and electrons.

e) Oxygen: released as gaseous by-product
Protons: pumped into thylakoid space, associated with NADP
Electrons: passed around from water to P680 to P700 to NADP.

Hey, I feel I know photosynthesis better now :)

Saaa-tte, I shall stop here.

To anyone who has read until this point, thanks for being so long suffering. However, I did mention that it would get inane ;) at least to anyone not taking a biology term paper tomorrow.