Life's litte ups and downs. (Sound familiar anyone?)

I have literature projects to do. Chinese and English.
My bus took half an hour to come. Then it sped by because it was too full. After enduring much of my whining (I had a dinner to rush to), Wang Huan and two others agreed to take a taxi. *yay*
When I'm tired, I'm so tired I forget to be afraid and alert and actually stone in front of my stand when a VSP is talking. Can't believe I did that!
When I have homework, it keeps me up till 12am, or gets me up at 4.
Tests come in waves and tsunamis, never in droplets.

"Misfortune" never exists. "Misfortunes" is always around. When life decides to give you lemons, it pelts you with entire fruit trees.

Excuse me while I drop a spoonful of condensed milk into my mom's bitter tea.

You know, condensed milk always comes in canfuls.
Chocolates come in boxes.
Birdsong can fill the sky.
Sunrises and sunsets past and future are countless.
Tissue comes in boxes, these boxes come in packs, and these packs come in bigger boxes. So when life spills your milk....
Use the supply of tissue to wipe it all up :)

Is life bitter? Or is it sweet? Some would say it depends. Some say its all relative. I think it doesn't matter. What's more important is what we choose to make of it.

Thanks, Lord, for the sunrise You've always promised me. You've fulfilled it everyday, till the day I will not need the sun anymore.

Because a thankful heart is a joyful heart. That's why I will choose to praise You no matter what.

Sorrow's such a heavy load

So I will learn to give it to Capable Hands. For He took it all upon Himself six hours one Friday.

Dreams can be heavy too. Aspirations can be troublesome as well. When I doubt the capability of my wings, there are Hands sufficient for me, and for the whole world for that matter.

Hmm... Just as a thought...

So sweet! Reminds me of SOMEONE and someone... Haha. Shall not mention names because I can just see her hand about to slap my thigh real hard! *ooooh... pained look* This is a tribute to you two so don't give me that LooK! I found this in my folder and it somehow brought the two of you to mind. Here's to wishing you trust and joy. ^_^ The two of you make such a sweet pair!

On a more down-to-earth note, Phuazzie the fuzzie was helping me with with Binomial Theorum today and I finally sort of see what some see in Tr+1=(x)^n-r.(y)^r Yayyeee! Muah muah fuzzie!

At least now I understand Math, or part of it. What I know is that I'll never understand some people and why they do what they do. Shall learn to take all things at face value, while understanding that they're usually deeper than that.

I envy those who know what they want to do after school. I don't know what my heart wants.

Wait, maybe I do. It sure doesn't want to go for flag day tomorrow.

Puh-lease, 8am at Somerset??

I want to sleeeeep! MEANIES, cruel people who think not. Come one, who is walking around Orchard Road at 8am in the morning??? Only pathetic students like yours truly forced into such CHPs. It is SO not nice for both the harasser and the harassee. What can I say anyway? The charities make Flag day sound so important for their survival, which is probably true. Its the only fundraising they do. I shall swallow this quietly then, but not willingly.

Sigh.

8am at SOMERSET!

I live at Jurong East. Spare me someone.

Nutty Chocolate sauce

Chocolate sauce is nice ^_^. But the nuts aren't. To me anyway.

Jakarta was fun. Especially since Jiejie Jennifer was there to take me shopping. Wheeee....

I'm glad to be home, really. But I hate the nuts -_-

Nut 1: E Lit assignment. (Ms Teng, I love you. Muax to Ms Foo)

Nut 2: C Lit. Ok, this one's not so bad.

But besides these, I had a nice break ^_^

I complain a lot, don't I? Haha...

Jakarta is one extreme place. Its not unusual for a restaurant there to have indoor waterfalls (mark the "s"), for hotels to have huge swimming pools and gyms and rooms(Novotel! It rawks. And I stayed there! Whooo... can't believe how luxurious it is), and for 16 year olds to have their own cars. Neither is it uncommon for children as young as 5 to be lying on the streets, going from car to car with an open palm at a traffic junction, for beggars to be sleeping in the dark corners outside a large, waterfront estate with speedboats parked in the backyard.

I will never get used to it.

Poverty and wealth are neighbours. One extends an empty hand, the other flings money away like nobody's business. How did things get this way?

The security there is pretty tight too. Every time I step back into my hotel I have to undergo a security check. The room card is required before one can enter the corridors. And you see police or military personnel almost everywhere. I suppose it's good, but its still a little unerving to some degree.

The Indonesians are nice, softspoken people. It's much nicer shopping there then in Shang Hai. You don't feel the stress or the agressiveness of the people. And they're usually wearing a smile. But that's not all...

The hospitality of the Indonesian Chinese (or at least those I met) is... scary. Ok, maybe not scary, but something I am certainly not accustomed to. I know my mom's a client, but the boss of the printing company actually paid for our 4 day stay at Novotel, and took us out for dinner twice, plus the company's driver was always ferrying us around. Jiejie Jennifer, who works at the company, kept trying to pay for some the things we bought, like the $32 layer cake my mom bought, plus a few other things here and there -_- I don't know whether that's how they operate, but I was really uncomfortable at times. I shall suggest to my mom that if we ever go to Jakarta again, we shall not let them know...

Oh and they love seafood. That's bad. I don't like it! But they brought us out to a restaurant famous for SEAFOOD and I felt so BAD!!! Sigh... -_-"""""""

It's true. Noone likes the idea of depending totally on another. Which may be why some find the perfect love of God so hard to accept.

Mom's going back to Jakarta in early April. Good luck to her. But this time its for business, so it mightn' be so bad. Plus three colleagues are going with her, so at least the hospitality will be diluted (hoho.)

Got to go catch up with CCA matters and what not. Oh well....

I wish time wouldn't go. But that's what life on terra firma is bound by.

Title: (Do I really HAVE to? I can't think of what to put here!!)

Going to Jakarta....! ^_^

Holiday holiday holiday!

So happy :)

Unfortunately, C Lit is going to come. Rargh. Whatever. Could be worse. I couldn't find the E Lit homework online so I can't take that. *Half pleased half frustrated*.

^_^

^_^

^_^!

I need to go break the news to Kristie. But I dont' feel like calling her. I shall dedicate this blog entry to her...

Dearest Kristie,

Its your darling standpartner here!

I've got some news for you...!

Guess.













I won't be coming on Tues and Thurs for CCA.

(Benevolent smile. Nods head in understanding manner. Yes, yes, I know.)

I bet you love me now. (Yayee!)

Don't complain, Mr Chan is coming. That's good. ^_^ And besides, one day you'll have to do it without me.

It's good training for you :P. I got thrown in the deep end. You're Sec 3 already. I started in Sec 2. So there.

Will find you something nice, ok? I'll miss you! (I'll leave this for your own interpretation. Hoho.)

Yes, I know you'll miss me too *wipes tear from corner of eye* How sweet of you!

I leave it in your capable hands. *Grins happily*

Lots of love from your lovely SL,

Jane

LSC '06

So what did I take away?

...

1) A screwed CD player. Someone smart person (to fall short of calling the person an animal) played a pirated China CD on it and it's now wonderfully screwed. And they took it without asking me first. Wow. First my hairdryer, now my CD player. I shall never, never lend electronic stuff to my friends again, no matter how generous I am feeling. Say what you may. Twice bitten, thrice shy.

It would have been nice to hear a word of apology. Whatever.

2) A malfunctioning nose. I've been sleeping the day away, except for when I got up to go to church to practice for tomorrow's service.

3) Lit Homework. I was sitting happily on the sidelines after my glasses got nicely smashed out of shape during Dog and Bone when Ms Teng came over and went, "Jane, please let your class know that there's lit homework uploaded on the IVLE." I couldn't really retaliate, 'cause she was the umpire. And my class was in the middle of a game on the court she was in charge of. Oh well.

4) Some, make that most, makeup serves no purpose. For example, mascara just gives you panda eyes, as does eyeliner. Curling your eyelashes is painful and totally unobvious, especially when dining in a not-so-bright environment.

5) Table Manners. It's really quite hard to bring food up to one's mouth without spillage, especially soup. And waiters hovering around can be quite irritating because you feel you aren't eating fast enough.

6) Watching one's friends play at being grown up is WEIRD. Like the really silly class parade. The idea of a class parade is actually not that silly, but the way some of them acted was. I get goosebumps thinking of them.

7) Three and a half hours to bathe and dress up for a formal dinner is only enough if everyone starts lining up and behaving like monkeys. A long line of people helping each other style hair, dry hair, tie dress straps, put on eye shadow, take pictures, pick and eat lice off fur (oops did I just type that? My bad.) is really the solution.

8) Friends.
A. Brittany is quite cute dancing the can-can, (Do it again for me to video tape it!) while Sarah wonderously keeps her calm "queen" demeanor.
B. Even "professional" people like Tianyi DO dance idiotically when given the chance. Hoho. No offense meant, pres.
C. SOME people get as sticky as super glue the moment you be nice to them. Its as if they take your good intentions (like lending them a pencil) as an invitation to be your best friend. Oh, its just sickening.
D. Why why WHY do they have to keep the telly on ALL THE TIME? Now, don't mistake this for anger, it's really pure curiousity. No one's watching, its noisy, and I can't sleep! I must find out one day.
E. There are so many ways of friendship. One way I found out was celebrating someone's birthday, then niao-ing her so bad she igonores all. -_-. I can't believe it! *Exasperated look*. On one hand she opens opportunities for them to scold her and stuff, on the other hand they needn't carry it so far >.<
F. If you win all the time, after awhile you forget how to lose graciously. So I shall remember how it feels like to lose.
G. Don't take pictures with Elaine, because her slim figure just emphasizes how fat I am. Haha, just kidding. Nah, love to take pictures with the preeeeddy girl. *Have you shown the picture to him yet? Lol! :)
H. Melissa doesn't eat veggies too! I thought she was the kind who didn't care about food!
I. Being surrounded by those closest to me can't take away individuality. There's a solitary feeling that can't be taken away because we're all one by ourselves. I am me, and I must learn to be by myself sometimes, even though we do learn to merge our thinking, our laughter with others. Nothing can turn two or a group into one. Only God sees straight into me and knows me for who I truly am.
J. I do NOT belong at discos or anything. And my school's idea of dancing is as funny one. During the so-called "dancing" section of the formal dinner, what I really wanted to do was to sit/stand in a corner by myself to feel the beat thumping through me, surrounded by it all, a passive observer; take a walk in the darkness just to be with only me, and observe the mood, the feeling, the peoople, the place from a distance. Couldn't really do that of course, but I had a short quiet stroll with Ruth.

Why do I long for such loneliness in the middle of people? Why do I look for quiet in the heat of noise? I don't know the answer, perhaps I never will. Sometimes I'm so afraid of being alone, at other times I just want to feel quietly, alone. To muse over the liveliness, the laughter, the place brimming with life and activity. The feeling of being untouchable, solitary. I do wish there was another to be with me who felt the same way, who would just enjoy the quiet without questioning or needing explanation. Another of me. Will I ever find that person? I have plenty of close friends, and they are all so different, but none of them can ever really understand that feeling of mine. To stop, or at best forget, time and take in everything around me, and store it all inside me, remembering as I go by.

Haha... The crappy writer in me had taken control. So sorry.

LSC was somewhat useful, somewhat fun, mostly interesting.

*Sigh*

I really am a crappy person aren't I? I suppose we all are to some degree. If I weren't stupid I suppose things would be different now.

Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall. Tell me, seriously, is this who I am for all time? Half-grown, half-child. I can't imagine myself any other way, but I know one day I will be different, and eventually just like Jesus.

(Stupid writer's out again.)

Ok, Ms Teng and Ms Foo, give me whatever you've got.