That weird day

Tomorrow is THAT day of the year.

That weird day.

Now that I remember, my first (and only, because I realized how pointless it is) crush was also about 17 back then.

Man, I'd be weirded out if some Sec 1/2 person fell in love with me. Yucks. (But thankfully I never told him.) Perhaps the weird feeling is also because I'm a girl.

Oh well.

When I look back on who I was, I find my old self so stupid.

Sigh. I still remember last year Mom gave me two stuffed-toys: a Tigger and a Winnie the Pooh. This year, it's an Indesit oven. What a change huh? I still remember what Mom told the sales staff at mayer. "She bakes, I eat." An inconspicuous hint, no? But I guess half the fun is in having someone eat what you make. Otherwise what's the point?

Everybody is in school studying. I feel so weird not being in school. And I guess a little afraid too, that I'll not be able to catch up. Sigh.

I had the most frightening nightmare last night. I dreamed that I got 15 points in my O Level exams. FIFTEEN points. I also dreamt that I was crying and crying, except that there were no tears. I also dreamt that Shooee was there comforting me. But I should've known it wasn't real; I actually got 12 and 10 for two subjects. But boy was it frightening. I'M SO FREAKED OUT NOW!!!!!

Sigh. Working is quite interesting and fun in it's own way actually. But I bet if I had to do it for the rest of my life I'd be screaming from boredom. So now I see there is truth in the saying "live each day as if it's your last", because after all only God knows when exactly we will die. No one else can tell; no one at all. Even if they claim they can, you don't want to know what kind of spirits they're fraternizing with.

Sigh. I guess if God knows when I'll die, He should also know how I'll do for my O Levels. So if the future is all up to Him, then there's nothing left for me to do but live each day the way He wants me to :) That's a comforting thought. If God is with us, who can stand against us?

Tomorrow is my seventeenth birthday. I have a lot of wishes, some of which my rational thinking tells me is dumb but my heart wants so dearly to have. Oh well. I hope I grow out of it soon.

Dio Eraclea's (Last Exile) version of happy birthday in Chinese is running in my head now. Zhu ni sheng ri kuai le, gu xiang wo men hui lai le, sheng ri kuai le sheng ri kuai le.... Lol. That funny, egocentric guy. I bet he didn't know how much foreshadowing his simple song held. Strangely enough, he was also turning seventeen on that day.

When you're sixteen going on seventeen...

Haha. I wish right now that I can skip time all the way to when I'm a freshman in university.

Domo...

Hisashiburi desu ne.

Peanut Princess made a complain so I shall very kindly blog.

It's not like I have nothing to say, just that I don't want to think about it.

But before all that,

Happy New Year!

^_^ We're made it past another year.

Japan was absolutely fun. Five days felt like ten, because we were doing so many things. But it was still too short. I want to go back in spring for ohanami!

So JC year has started. And I do not want to go back to said JC. Sigh. They are so weird. (Like they insist on screaming all the time??) I want to start lessons. Stop giving me all sorts of stupid things to do. I just barely managed to skive out of orientation (somehow I managed to fall ill. Don't ask me how I did it. Perhaps it was stress), and now I find we have to do yet another silly something tomorrow. Argh. If this keeps up I'm gonna quit and go help Mom with her admin work.

And I can do baking.

I can go give tution at the CSC.

I can go sign up for a singing class.

Yay. Sounds like fun :)

I'm so sad. Haiz. I told you I didn't want to think about it.

I'll give them at most two weeks. After that it's adieu.

Ok, on to nicer things.

I'll be 17 soon. :)

Actually I'm not sure if that's a nice thing. I don't really want to grow up, if it means I have to behave like the way the JC seniors are behaving. I don't want to be like that for goodness' sake! But thankfully, big bro reminded me that I DON'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THEM! So whew. I just want to be me. :)

And I tell you it's weird having guys around. Especially those mean ones who don't bat an eyelid at getting a kick out of being plain mean.

Granted, some people do like the JC that I'm in. But honestly, it's not my style, just like a friend of mine who said that orientation was fun, but probably not my idea of fun.

Call me a useless ohime-san or whatever you like but orientation is really not my idea of fun.

So you can see why I've avoided blogging. I shall talk about Japan instead.

Somehow I sort of wish I was a Japanese. In public they talk softly, not like us Singaporeans who scream to the whole world what kind of nightmare we had last night (there was this irritating brat who was doing that in the cafeteria on my last morning in Japan), and even though there are less dustbins on the road, there is less rubbish too. They are a culture that has kept their roots while integrating modern technology. And I think that's a very admirable thing. Unlike the Chinese with their Cultural Revolution, the Japanese treasure their heritage. And I think that's an important basis that a country needs in order to grow.

Although if I were Japanese I wouldn't know God. Most likely anyway.

The Japanese are a very closed up community and don't seem very fond of strangers. A good example of this was when we were at customs on the last day, the young man at the scanning machine asked us something in Japanese. We told him we couldn't speak Japanese, so he just pulled a long face at us. Finally when it came to my Mom she had a staring contest with him, after which he finally spoke in fluent English. This is only one example. I met a few more during the trip, and it sort of cast gloom on my otherwise wonderful visit.

As a person who likes anime and J-pop it has left me with a lasting impression: whenever I see the Japanese characters interacting with each other in a very warm, friendly way, I am strongly reminded of their unfriendliness towards strangers, especially if there is a foreigner in the story. I start getting this nagging doubt about how good it really is but I suppose they'd be very comfortable with each other and thus sincere towards each other, regardless of their attitude towards strangers.

Anyway excuse my ceaseless babbling.

I understand some aspects of their anime better anyway. Like why the general public is likely to stare and criticise when someone does something weird in public. In Singapore, the most people will do is roll their eyes and just keep walking. Like in Kiki's Delivery Service, when Kiki first landed on the street after a rather dangerous ride on her broomstick, all the passersby quickly walked away and were not in the least hospitable.

Hai. Peanut Princess is heading to a land of fair heads, fair skins but not-at-all-fair weather. Must be all the fair has been taken. But anyhow I'll miss her very much.

Good luck Hime-chan!

Haha. Sigh. Tomorrow is Monday.