時間が一番欲しい

Two exams tomorrow, and another on Friday.

Struggling over how I should allocate my time now. I've spent a lot of time on ps2238 already, but I'm still not ready. Been neglecting ps2248. Sigh. Thank God my Japanese is up to par though, so I don't have to spend so much time on it.

I'm so tired. So tired of this major already. So many things to get my head around. Can't seem to remember much. Got two B- already for essays.

It doesn't seem to make much sense. Like why do I care. But it's not like there's anything I'd want to do anyway.

Times like this bring up existential questions: what the heck is this major for anyway? There seems to be so much more to life.

I give up trying to get A. Just get me a paying job that I can live on. I don't believe happiness is found in fame or brilliance.

今私はちょっと寂しいです。誰か私と同じ気持ちですか。きっとPrawn-さんも疲れますが、私より上手ですよ。はああ～如何すればいいですか。私の友達は今とても遠いでうす。そして好きな人も遠いです。

だああああああいいい好きよ～～　もっと、もっと、私を愛してよ...

如何すればか。GO BACK TO YOUR STUDYING, THAT'S WHAT.

K. Stop being distracted by useless feelings.

Need a finger restrainer for right index

This is the second time I'm in the school library on a public holiday. The last time would be the last reading week I had in... April.

It's actually quite pleasant, cause there's only like one third the people who were around yesterday, so I'm allowing my bad to lounge in another chair.

I guess its something about public holidays that people don't want to go to school. I was thinking the same thing yesterday too, but my mom didn't allow me to use her essay as an excuse to stay at home. I don't know if that's just her being astute or if that's a sign from God. In any case, here I am. Holiday or not, home or school, I need to be studying anyway.

But really. Public Administration is just So BORING. And the library study table is too high for laptops actually. My right index finger is dying already.

Haish. Don't know why I dream on about impossible things even when they are clearly impossible. Like actually doing well this sem... and a bunch of stuff.

Grr. I wish this year was over already.

blogging again when I should be studying

Oral test and last lesson with Kojima sensei was today. Ruixiong (my oral test partner) is really quite sweet. He gave Kojima sensei a box of Royce chocolates. Whoa. I haven't met such a sweet guy in a long while.

Any of you girls interested? Hahaha. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ms Poon, no I'm really not interested myself.

We were practicing the topic of 好きな人today cause we heard the class before us discussing it. But besides some ideas on what kind of person I'd like him to be, when Ruixiong asked me what I'd like to do if I had a boyfriend, I seriously had no clue. Like it's not as important as it was in the past to have one anymore. Growing up? Moving on? Somehow the idea of having someone to love would be nice, but then I kind of don't want one now.

Not just don't mind not having one, but rather don't want one now. Hmm. I mean the idea of romance is still attractive, but somehow I also realize that practically it wouldn't be completely that way either. Hmm.

Haish. I'll miss Kojima sensei and my TB class. Hopefully I can get into her class next sem in Japanese 2 ^^

Ok, back to the last essay of this sem.

overt procrastination

Over the course of the long weekend, I've hardly done anything except go to church 4 times, 2 of which I drove myself in Mom's car (praise God both me and the car came back in one piece), and I also did my Japanese homework, but I haven't begun to memorize my speech or think of how to present it. At least I've already practiced for the oral exam because I have a pro and very on partner.

Haish. I can't believe its week 13 already. I shall just state outright here that it's completely impossible for me to finish all my readings. Minus the journals I haven't printed, I have a lovely foot-thick pile of unread readings, plus two whole freaking books (both of which were assigned by the same lecturer. Just wonderful, innit???)

But talking to two people today really cheered me up. Plus they both came to talk to me of their own initiative! I'm sorry for being so spoilt, but it made me really happy :P

Plus, I was really quite touched when many people came up to me today to tell me how much they liked my violin. After all, its not the first time I've played my violin in church, and the last time I did so nobody said anything cause everyone was used to it. Someone even thanked me, saying that it really ministered to her...

I was really surprised! Because all this week I've been feeling really down and tired, and today before worship something happened that got me quite upset too, and as I worship was starting I was still quite affected by it... But was telling God that I didn't want it to be so. And so He proves that He takes care of his own work.

After some more substantial music practice for the musical, I'm actually quite surprised by how well it's turning out. So maybe I'll actually get round to inviting people.

Interlude

Still got some 10 minutes before my last tutorial with Kojima-sensei begins. Aww... She's such a great teacher, I'll really miss her lessons!

今日のクラスは最後のＴＢのクラスです。残念です。こじま先生はとてもいい先生ですから、ＴＢのクラスはいつもとても楽しいです。勿論ふじい先生とおそど先生もいい先生です。でも、こじま先生はいちばんおもしろいです。

はああ～。来週はたくさんテストがあります。OralやListeningなどがありますから、大変です。

ああっ、もう時間ですね。クラスへいきます。じゃね。

Haish. Last lesson with Kojima sensei. Here goes.