I want sleeep!

Today is one of those miserable, tiring, draining days when you just wish someone would say tomorrow, "Let's declare a year-long holiday!".

Anyway. It's been a long day in more than one sense. A much needed letter from Eeleen arrived in the post today, late in a sense, yet the timing was perfect.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Just when I was feeling discouraged about studying and all that, this arrived in the mail. Is that God sent or what? I'm beginning to really see the practical application of Rick Warren's statement in the Purpose Driven Life: "It's not about you." Indeed it isn't. And thank God for caring mentors like Eeleen and Aunty Bel who haven't given up on me, despite my refusal to go for LAC. I believe that nothing is coincidental. ^_^

" 感谢主因为他已经应许日子如何力量也必如何"

亲爱的宝贵耶稣,
你爱何等的甘甜,
我的心深深被吸引,
爱你是我的喜悦.

一生爱你,一生敬拜你
一生爱你, 一生荣耀你
一生奉献, 一生不回头
一生爱你, 跟随你.

Ok. Deep breath. To Chinese lit, I must return.

Studious 16... Hectic 16...

So I'm 16 today. At first I always wanted to turn 16 'cause I wanted to know what in the world is sweet about it (got a sweet tooth you see). But in actual fact it really isn't as big as they've made it out to be.

... Gee, what's the big deal? Feel no different from yesterday, 'cause its just another day. Though I was 15 yesterday.

Rargh. I shall feel 16 just as soon as I feel Sec 4. Which is most likely not going to be any time soon.

... There is simply nothing that different about being one year older. Really. As for people desperate to get themselves into a NC16 show, all I can say is if they rated it NC16 there's got to be a reason, and that reason is usually what makes me NOT watch the particular show.

It feels weird really. I remember when Wee Yin's batch of Sec 4s turned 16. Haha. They had a lively discussion indeed. It feels weird.

This year there is no loud mouthed stand partner to shout to the whole CCA that I just turned one year older. ^_^ I remember whacking her on the head with my bow, though she turned out none the worst for the whacking, seeing how she's got herself into RJC. And most thankfully, my darling comm. forgot to embarrass me. Whew!

Oh well. CCA today. I really don't know where I am supposed to be -_-, because I stepped in late today and found myself in Vln 2 AGAIN. Hmm... As long as I don't find myself in viola one of these days, I suppose there's no need for concern.

Zhen 老师 was nice enough to postphone today's test, though it wasn't for my sake. Haha. Chemistry test was also postphoned to next week ^_^. But SS is still on tomorrow. My only comfort is that I can't study for it now because it's source-based. Ok, maybe I could if I tried, but hey, I'm so not going to.

I shall do my reflections on "Paradise Road" now, and hopefully that will help me to get a clearer view of the film.

Where are you? I suppose life is a singular walk with God after all, because only He can be around all the time.

Four years later...

Hmm. I remember first stepping into Nanyang. I was Pri 5 then, and we had come to see a production by.... some school called 青鸟 (some mythical thingie) in the Siew May Auditorium. I didn't understand the play at all, but I was rather impressed with the size of the school.

Today's my first day as a Sec 4, and it sure doesn't feel like it. Sigh. I can't believe it. Not just yet anyway. Sec 4! With the O lvls barely a year away. Oh noooo... I'm growing old!

Haha. I guess there's still a good part of my life I haven't lived yet.

Sec 4!!!

-_-. It feels soooo unreal. I remember my first day as a Sec 1. Going down the steps of the classroom block nearer to the auditorium. I remember my angel used to nag at me for going home so early ^_^.

Unreal.

Libing got into RJC, I heard. Congratulations dearie! I shall do my best too and join you next year!

Though with all the IP students, I'm not sure if I want to go to either HCJC or RJC. Its so imtimidating with all the pro people there. But if I don't go to a JC, I don't think I'll be ready to go to a Polytechnic or overseas yet.

What to do? Maybe I should go overseas with Elaine. Go study psychology with her :) I cannot imagine studying with all those smart IP people. It's just not possible for the rest of us O Lvl trackers to fit in. I don't know what the people at the top are thinking, but I do hope they know what they're putting us students into.

*haix*

Even if I do go to those two JCs, I don't think I'll be going to join string ensemble. Firstly HCJC will have all those pro people from HCISO, then RJC will have all the ex-concertmasters and -concertmistresses. So what will poor Janey do? Probably join English Society or something like that. No debates. I do not wish to grow any older than I already am.

Sigh.

Stuck in a dilema. What to do, what to do? I wish I could get to heaven faster. Instead of having to wait this life out. Bleah.

Hai. Don't want to be 16 so soon. Don't want to turn 16 at all. Don't want this deary, boring, tiring, meaningless life.

Seems like we always know what we don't want, but rarely know what we actually want.

I wish you were around so I could talk to you. You always make me feel better.

I shall have to wait I suppose. As patiently as I can.

Sigh.

Someone save me from Literature! I don't understand the thing at all! HEEELLPP!!!