Relearning old lessons

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding- Proverbs 3:5

I just relearnt this tonight.

I was struggling today whether to go for VCF membership class, cause I had worship pract tmr night and an essay due on friday....

I decided not to go.

But somehow I felt that I should really go. No particular reason. But even though I felt like I should go, I couldn't get rid of a sense of guilt, like, maybe I wasn't allocating my time well?

This afternoon at 1pm I thought, ok God, if I can find a replacement for tmr's worship pract then I'll go for membership class. But I didn't find one.

Then at 5pm today, sitting in Japanese language class, I thought, whatever, I'm too tired to study well tonight anyway. And michelle was encouraging me to go too.

SO I went. And had a pretty good time actually.

And after that I spent some time with Shana on the bus, going home the long way. But it was good to spend time with her. I've missed spending time with her.

As I walked home today I realized that for some reason I didn't feel depressed about my work any more. I thought maybe it was the Shana-effect, you know, after a bus ride of Shana's antics.

(Interestingly I met my parents just coming home downstairs today. Anyway.)

Then I got an answer at 10.03 pm. Sandra said she'd take over for me!

And so as a result I love her a lot. Hahahahha. (Let's bake cookies!)

No, I realized more importantly, that I'd been getting my priorities wrong. It's not quid pro quo with God; God doesn't work by sorting out my life first then I step out in faith, that isn't faith anymore.

It's do what you know is right FIRST, then trust in God and He'll sort things out.

That's why Proverbs 3:6 goes "In all your ways acknowledge Him, AND He will make your paths straight."

See, I got the order wrong. It's acknowledge God first. Then He'll sort things out.

So that's why I was so stressed out this past week. I had gotten my life priorities wrong.

Thanks for sorting me out, God!

And thanks for taking over, Sandra (:

blogging when i should be mugging

i was recently reminded not to let pol science make me 'cynical'. I was thinking, no way, i wouldn't ever be cynical.

But today when prof jenco was talking about mao, i realized that i was indeed thinking about it in a way she described as 'cynical'.

Now i'm confused. I didn't think that was being cynical, i thought it was just being perceptive.

Somebody define 'cynical' please.

On a bright note, i just got complimented on my cooking! Abeit on something i cooked 10 months ago. Now i feel like baking something (:

Looking for rich patron

Sigh. Doesn't seem to be any hope of that though.

But on a brighter note, I have been a good girl during the elearning week! I have more or less finished my readings and lectures, and now am working on the essay due next week.

To top it off, I also had time to watch anime and J drama!

Wow, I've really had a great week.

Thanks God :D

Sigh. I shall not be so upset about the berlin phil.

Yups. I am content. ^^~

at home again

It's e-learning week. There are certain benefits to this, I must admit. First, not having to go to school so early in the day. Second, yesterday's public admin online tutorial was much livelier and fruitful than usual. It's definitely true that being online and not having to look at people face to face makes people less inhibited. But I still have language tutorials. We're the ones who will brave disease, disaster and foreign invasion to master our foreign languages.

Oh yes and jason ng did not turn up for japanese tutorial on Monday because he had a project meeting in Tampines. Hmm. I did expect that we would continue to have Japanese lang classes, one reason being that it's kinda difficult to teach these classes online, but ah, I suppose some people I know act before they think.

Oh well.

Finding it difficult to practice the songs for the musical. They're either emo or a bit (or maybe more than a bit) cheesy (even the composer himself said that). The lyrics, that is. And it's kinda hard to practice with real feeling when the song is making your hairs stand on end. The other one belongs to a genre that isn't my cup of tea, so... And jon was telling me the acting was making him depressed. Well guess what. Playing the music isn't so easy either. I feel noticeably more down as compared to before I practiced it.

Bweah.

I need a sponsor. Just received an email from esplanade that berlin phil is coming to town with sir simon rattle, but the cheapest tix left are $350.

Is there some agency I can complain to? Surely its not fair that esplanade is only doing adverts AFTER most of its tickets are sold out. It was the same with Joshua Bell.

T.T

Sigh. So depressed now. It would be the same if they never came to town, but somehow it feels worse that they're coming and I can't go hear them.

T.T *heartbroken sobbing

I NEED A RICH PATRON!!!!!!!!

Anyway. A bit worried for a friend. Have been for a while. I guess its inevitable that people talk less when they're far apart, but that's not doing anything to make me feel better.

Because you see, truth is truth because it's the only truth. If it's only one kind of many types of truth,

Then it's not Truth anymore. And we're all in BIG trouble.

Postmodernism is an insidious thing indeed.

Nevermind if you didn't understand that.

I'm just really worried.